Look out Cleveland, the storm is coming through

And it’s running right up on you


 Fans of the Mortal Kombat video game franchise were more graphically reminded of its gameplay in the October of 2012 on the most realistic graphics suite known to man, real life. Twitter was fired up with adrenaline on the year ending when an Ohio bus driver and a middle aged woman both got engaged in a small altercation which attained epic proportions. Till this day, no one knows exactly why @Shidea_lane was asked to leave the coveted bus (allegedly she had not paid the fare), but the world was treated to her peculiar exit. Like a comedic spoof of the historically viable and relevant Rosa Parks’ incident, when Shidea had refused to get off the bus, and has ravaged the bus driver’s heart with a truly brilliant series of verbal attacks, he chose a more brutal response, a round house style uppercut that rocked the atmosphere on its foundations. (Un)Luckily for the twitter public, a less involved passenger was so generous as to capture the incident on video, and it ended up an instant you tube sensation:

 At the close of the incident, both parties left with their fair share of battle scars; the bus driver was unceremoniously discharged from duty, Shidea’s were more graphic, and her twitter account ended up deactivated as well.




In a time where people would attempt to come up with the wittiest of names to gain attention on twitter, and appealing (or revealing) avatars to keep your attention, the ‘human bot’ known only as @gexwy never needed to make use of such luxury to amass over 90,000 followers in less than three days. He (or she) instead applied a more menacing method, terrorism, over one of the most loved, if not the most loved, sensation at the time, Justin Bieber.


Strongly believed to be one of the causative agents of the talented singer’s ‘downward spiral’, the egg faced goon made proof of his claim to have stolen Justin’s personal computer, which Bieber consented to having lost, and as if that wasn’t giving his multitude of young fans enough orgasms, claimed to have found his (self-taken) nude photographs upon hacking the laptop. (a la Scarlett Johannson and the nude iPhone portraits). Whether gexwy was bluffing or not or whether the entire fiasco was a publicity stunt is still unclear till this day, but it was nonetheless effective and gained reactions from Bieber like “gexwy no matter what you have and what you post tomorrow I know my fans wont leave me. Screw it. #toostrong”

(Un)Fortunately gexwy never made right of his (or her) claims by showcasing such pictures to the world. Although it did manage to present some mind boggling teasers, like abdominal pictures of a white male matching similar descriptions, which were never really confirmed.

Like an Indiana Jones movie, the whereabouts of gexwy are lost in history. Many call it a publicity stunt to amass attention, citing @AlfredoFlores


As at the time of this post, the account seemed abandoned, but was spared the timidity of deactivation. You could see for yourself.



 Like any other social network, the early ages of twitter were a struggle for recognition. In this struggle to become famous, many took to bullying and belittling to gain followers; and medieval as the methods seemed, they worked for many, not so much for some; but for @Big_Jamaal, they seemed to do both.



 At over 5000 followers gained, Jamaal was doing pretty good for himself, his online growth as of 2011 was remarkable, and could be likened to those of @Btoocold501 and @BigGhostFase. As many male typecast cyber bullies would at the time, Jamaal took to misogyny in order to gain considerable attention with the female population, appearing on the timelines of multiple women and making nonsense of their claims to glamour with chilling insults. Sometimes he was discovered to have known some of these ladies in person, other times it would be a frontal attack based solely on their posted avatars and tweets.

 Things seemed to be going his way till he opted for a route that proved fatal, cyber bullying his ex-girlfriend Whitney. Ms @WhitneyNO_crack seemed a calm, collected presence at first, taking Jamaal’s supposed bants in stride and not giving them any reply for a long while. Many had begun to see his claims as sacrosanct and Whitney looked deep in controversy, that was… until she posted this you tube bombshell…

 The video featured a recording of Jamaal apparently in tears, begging a woman to take him back (he was facing the camera) and apologizing to her for giving her syphilis as well as promising to take more responsibility in their relationship. Whitney claimed the video recording was addressed to her and addressing her, which Jamaal never rejected, initially denying, then later claiming it to be “all part of the hustle”. #Jamaal and #PoorJamaal ended up as trending topics toward the end of 2011, and after a series of thrashing and bashing mentions, Big Jamaal was forced to deactivate his own account.  



Single mother Jenny Johnson had grown for herself a more than favourable following over the years as a comedian; and developing jokes that bordered on the profane as well as bashing celebrities on their twitter handles got her point through in an amazing fashion in the November of 2012, when she decided to take on the talented singer Chris Brown months before his music tour tagged #CarpeDiem

Prior to this historic moment , @JennyJohnsonHi5 had been continuously dogging Chris Brown on twitter since 2009, bashing the musician for his well-publicised beating of singer Rihanna…  à

…as well as calling him a “disgrace to manhood” among others. Eventually, Chris brown looked to crack at the allegations and lost his cool when he posted a tweet in which he noted he looked older than his years, and she responded “I know! Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person.”

Brown took to backhand insults and sexually explicit slurs in his response to her tweet, showing anger at being referred to in such a manner, and then when it seemed the pressure had reached a fever pitch, Chris Brown deactivated his twitter account.

It was globally acclaimed that Chris Brown’s account deactivation in 2012 was due to the comedian’s bants, and in strong accordance to this claim, she was verified just days after the incident. Chris Brown eventually had his account reactivated and all previous tweets deleted following his tour promotion.



Just when 2013 was beginning to seem like a boring year for twitter users, the high spirited rogue known as chuckicheese (not the pizza joint) set up a scheme that rocked the twitter community for an entire night. The concept of slander is a very tricky one for a perpetrator even beyond the boundaries of the cyber world, but @chuckicheese managed an epic case of playful role play, quite similar to those of the #cut4bieber series, and left without a scratch.

In early 2013 reality show TV star Kim Kardashian, whom many of my readers must already know, was heavy with child (as at the time of this post, I could not tell whose) and was in a deep relationship with renowned rapper Kanye West; she had attended an event in the African city of Abuja, Nigeria in the favour of the music star Dare Art Alade, in which it was rumoured she was paid a cool 500,000 Euros (or Pounds, details were sketchy) for her visit which reportedly lasted barely 45 minutes. She had managed two 10 hour journeys to and from the event on the same day. On her return to Los Angeles, the Nigerian population was well angered by the news, both of her brief stay and her huge pay day. It was a sensitive period in early march of 2013, and this was the period chuckicheese chose to strike.

Utilizing her twitter profile picture at the time, chuckicheese in an uncanny manner, manufactured a false tweet by Kim, stating her hatred for Nigeria as a country, as well as a not too appealing description of African females.




Cleverly he had it disguised as a deleted tweet, attached it to an equally false BET twitter news statement exposing the act, and the story went viral in minutes, generating a series of hateful comments toward Kim Kardashian, some of which can be viewed under the twitter handle @KimHatersTweets. After hours of twitter-bashing by an unsuspecting (or overly suspecting) public, Kim later came out on the tweet, saying  “I would never tweet something like that”. Also upon further investigation, it was discovered that she was not paid the 500,000 Euros (or pounds or dollars) for the event at all; and the trip was only done as a favour to the Nigerian artist that hosted it.